Session 07 - Ben. (05/01/2025)
So this is it. That sounds… really final, huh? You're going back to Illinois for a few months, returning to Florida in December as you do every year. I'm going to Virginia, and possibly never returning to Florida. If I do, it's still highly unlikely we'll cross paths again. It's crazy to think that this is technically how our friendship ends, not with a bang or whimper but silently and peacefully into the night as two paths part. I'm not even surprised - I'd often wondered if things were already coming to a close in the last few silent months. The last time we'd seen each other was on Valentine's Day with a small joint rotation at your place after going to the asian markets. Before then, it was some point in December, I can't remember when exactly. I'd been told to write it off as a loss and carry on, but I wasn't going to cut ties. I'll always be a text away, but will you?
I remember the day we met vividly. You were looking for cheap wine at the dollar store, and I'd thought I recognized your voice. We had no overlaps and it likely was just my imagination, but there was something special about that interaction that made us continue to meet up on my breaks. Eventually, you got the job at that store, and I was arguing with the manager to keep him from pulling anything scummy against you. Fuck that John guy - he's still a deadbeat as of a small run-in two years ago, to nobody's surprise. Even after I left that store, we kept in regular contact. I vented about my hobbyist drama that surely came off as nonsense to anyone on the outside, but you were always there for me. I'll always appreciate you.
In December of 2021, you were there during my bender. I can't say a lot about it, but I'll absolutely always be grateful for you helping my family take care of me after that ride. The drug test from my psych's office took me off of a medication I'd been on since a child, and that was one of the biggest steps forward I had ever taken. For once, I was actually myself on a chemical level thanks to you. You helped me find and heal myself when I would have complacently suffered. That's why I valued you - you were a part of what I wanted, and still want, to become.
I sincerely have no idea where the roads are going to take me. It almost feels like the death of LectroNyx. Was he just a figment of my father's rage and my mother's love? You were my Jesus.
I can only hope we can reconnect again and share a toke and a drink some day in the future.
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