Session 02 - TA-0784439778BN “Bain” (08/27/2022)
Another redesign for this fucker!
I used to HATE this fucking character because of... everything that happened while he was my main sona. A good friend of mine chastised me, and I can't help but think... he was right.
This was something I made, poured a part of myself into, and I hated it to the point where I would verbally bash it. Rant about it. Bain was the unloved child of mine who was certainly not neglected - they lived in my head rent-free because of my sheer contempt for them. For everything that had happened when they were a major part of my identity. For things outside of my control.
I hated my own creation unfairly, and I think I was hating myself through proxy.
Thank you, Caelum, for waking me up to this.
While the character's personality wasn't the most exciting, I refused to even try fixing the situation because of my own weirdly misplaced emotions. I had made something people liked, and I absolutely DESPISED it because... I'm not even sure why. Why would I make something I hated, and keep it as something I hated? Why not evolve it, grow it, change it into something that I could love? Was I really that filled with vitriol, and if so... why?
What had this little cartoon robot ever actually done wrong to me? It was people who did it all, not... Bain. He's just an imaginary character who has become my own means to express my confusion and unfamiliarity with emotion. In a weird way, he's me. I am Bain. Bain is me.